I’m back.. Maybe.

Today is June 12, 2009.  Perhaps six months since my last post.  Lots has changed since then.

Just felt like writing a little bit today.. We’ll see how it goes.

Over the past few months I’ve been blessed in so many ways.  I was given a car to drive.  I was given the opportunity to intern for the job of my dreams.  And, on top of that, I get to work at my favorite place in the world.  I made it through this school year with mostly A’s and only two B’s, and I’ve got an incredible family to back me up in all that I do.

Something was missing though.  A weird emptiness occupied my heart.  With every new blessing, that emptiness just seemed to grow.  I tried waiting it out and shoving it aside with a passive attitude.  It didn’t go away.  More friends didn’t fill the gap.  A great job didn’t fill the gap.  A front-row seat to an incredible spiritual movement didn’t even fill it.  People were looking to me as a role model; an image of how a ‘good christian’ was supposed to act.  I wasn’t feeling it.  Pastor Steven did a series a while back that would imply that I’d hit “The Dip” in my spiritual walk. Here’s what I came upon in my sermon notes a few weeks ago:

Trusting God is not a passive gesture, it’s an active movement.

I can’t assume that I can do everything on my own and pass off the “big problems” to God.  It took getting everything I desired to realize that I wasn’t actively pursuing the one who blessed me in the first place.

God doesn’t want my spiritual “left-overs” or half-hearted gifts.  He wants my active pursuit of His word and the life in which He is preparing for me.

Are you doing the same?